Performance

MRS WILLIAM HORSLEY
ARCHIVE OF PERFORMANCES:
MANY PERFORMANCES VIEWABLE AT vimeo.com/matthewthurber
also youtube.com/imapelican

"HAVE A COW"
Freak Flag Fest, Brooklyn KItchen, 2018
My car, my cow. My car fits into my cow. My horse and my cow and my plow. My car runs on gas. My cow makes gas. I love my cow, I love my car. My car emits hearts. I bite into my cow. The birth of a cow. The messiah shall be a cow. And the noise shall be heard forevermore, the lowing of the cow giving birth. The mooing of the cow the moon the milk rescued from the cow, the full udder stretching the beautiful breasts of the car, so ready to give, so ready to give the milk that pours onto your hands, that pours down your throat, warm milk and organic cow. Orgasmic cow facing the moon, cow jumping over the moon.
Getting off getting off this exit
Getting off getting off this planet
This cow is getting off the moon
The moon is getting off
My car is getting off this exit.

But what is the color of the cow? Not black and white, no. The cow is color. The moon in the sky reflects all the colors of the rainbow and the spectrum is in the cow's stomach as the cow chews its grass and ruminates its cud separating the white light into a spectrum through seven stomachs of diffraction. As the cow chews the color from the earth its stomach separates the light into seven colors. Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, Violet, these are the names of my seven cows! These are my seven cars I sail the seven seas with upon the ribbon of highway my fleet my herd. My herd of cow running in a line or in a small stampede running to fertile pasture and arable land. I own cow. I own cows now, I own moo cows now, I own cows. I own the moon. I mow the lawn on the moon, I am mooing. I am moving in my car I feed it grass I feed it milk ethanol I am mowing you down in my car. I may say "Moo". The last thing you hear is the tinkle of the bell and you are gone, you bought the farm.

I mooed upstate, I moved upstate and bought the farm. The time had come. I moved to find time to come, I found a farm where I can come, in bovine beauty I pet the cow. Of course the cow can come too. The cow can come in the car of course. The cow can come and moo to pull over to the side of the road, where grass is growing the cow can chew or the cow can refuse. The cows in the car are Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, Violet are walking, pulling the car. The car is not a car, it is a plow. It is a blue plow, it is a lagoon, it is a blue car. An Indigo chariot, a cow flick the whip, lick the tip, the cow eyelashes, the cow is cute, and the cow is invited to be here, not in anyone's way not at all, even standing in the middle of the road the architecture is melting. The cow's eyelashes are drooping, it is the end of the day. The night cows will swoop in, now. The winged night cow shift is ready to eat and they come from the moon , the colors are all blue at night, and white.
The spectrum is now asleep standing up.

And that's what a cow can do.
And that's what a cow can do for you.
And you won't get anything more from me but that's what a cow can do.

is the

Mrs William Horsley presents: "Furmity Tent"
A recreation in noise and alcoholic porridge of the first chapter of Thomas Hardy's novel "The Mayor of Casterbridge".
By Decree of the Gaberlunzie, Furmity is Prohibited Throughout the Universe.
Its Consumption leads inevitably to Poor Ethical Decisions for all Known species. Imbibe While Ye May! before the Descent of the Gaberlunzie's Auction Hammer.
Performed at Secret Project Robot, Brooklyn, August 4, 2016
Co-written with Mollie Goldstrom
Starring:
Laura Perez-Harris as The Mayor of Casterbridge
Billy Grant as The Furmity Hag
Austin English and Marlene Frontera as the Wife and Daughter of the Mayor of Casterbridge
Matthew Thurber as The Sailor
Brian Belott as The Gaberlunzie

MRS WILLIAM HORSLEY PRESENTS: "The Unboxing of Julia Ravenna"
The world famous ballerina Julia Ravenna has been trapped in perpetual slumber in a storage locker by her rival, the Somnabulist-method dancer Sheepskaya. Only the audience can help unlock Julia by reciting the words to her favorite song. But has Ravenna suffered a physical mutation due to her long term storage?
Performance at Hilo, Catskill NY Dec 1, 2017

MRS WILLIAM HORSLEY PRESENTS :"Scenario the Tailor"
After a gastro intestinal introduction the narrator transforms into Mrs William Horsley with the help of an audience sing-a-long, and then presents a slide show about an itinerant tailor's meeting with a talking bed bug. Presented at The Drawing Center, March 24, 2017

MRS WILLIAM HORSLEY PRESENTS: "TERPINWOE"
Mystery-Movement-Dream-Play.
Every Baby Carrot is an Adult Carrot with its flesh hacked away!
1.The Island Of Lum-Lum is covered with piles of surplus carrots. Boats circle the island.
2.The Carrot Board perform their traditional dance.
3.Grandfather relishes his Pog.
4.God appears and delivers a message to Grandfather.
5.The Carrot Board are maintaining their balance.
6. A Fish appears and delivers an incoherent message before expiring.
7.The Carrot Board perform their traditional Song And Dance.
8.Grandfather Affixes his Pog to the Carrot Lighthouse.
9.Terpinwoe is born out of the Carrot Lighthouse and goes Cavorting.
10. Grandfather smashes his Pog on Terpinwoe.
11.Terpinwoe is threatened by the Carrot Board but takes spiteful bites.
12. Terpinwoe skateboards, and amuses himself with books
13. The Fish, Grandfather, and God reappear. Terpinwoe is violated and sacrificed.
14. The Carrot Board cover up Terpinwoe and the Fish with surplus carrots. The boats collide.
Performed Feb. 13, 2017 At Dixon Place, Little Theater
Written and Directed by Matthew Thurber
Choreography and Art Direction by Mollie Goldstrom
With:
Riley Dobbins (Grandfather)
Allee Errico (Carrot Board Member)
Mollie Goldstrom (Carrot Board Member)
Jessica Kurland (God)
Sean Macys (Fish)
Laura Peréz-Harris (Boat)
Jack Reese (Terpinwoe)
Arielle Sarnoff (Carrot Board Member)
Matthew Thurber (Boat)